


Diplomatic Paperwork

by hollyfrosty



Category: Mario Story | Paper Mario
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-18
Updated: 2018-12-18
Packaged: 2019-09-21 20:56:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17050430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hollyfrosty/pseuds/hollyfrosty
Summary: After Bowser's attack on the Mushroom Kingdom, Peach is fulfilling her role as a member of the monarchy and trying to work out agreements with the powers that threatened her kingdom. Twink, skeptical of these methods, suggests another tactic.





	Diplomatic Paperwork

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TheMangosity](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheMangosity/gifts).



“—And so in treating Shy Guy’s Toy Box as a conquered nation under King Bowser, we can waive any reparations that would normally be included in the negotiations due to an act of war—”

“Princess?”

“Not now, Twink.” Peach brushes her friend aside, keeping him behind her and out of sight of the Shy Guys she is speaking with.

“Now listen here! The Shy Guy’s Toy Box has never been conquered by anyone!” General Guy stomps his foot and crosses his arms. “The very SUGGESTION that—” General Guy stops talking as an adviser whispers in his ear. “—I retract my previous statement, that was a sneeze.”

Princess Peach tries to remain collected in her diplomatic duty. “As I was saying, as the princess of the nation surrounding the Toy Box on all sides, we have a responsibility to provide humanitarian aid—”

“And whatever you don’t give us, we can steal!” General Guy announces to raucous applause from the Shy Guys surrounding him.

Peach blinks. “Excuse me one moment.” She proceeds to step outside the room and put her face in her hand.

“Why are we trying to talk with them?” Twink says, following after. “They’re the bad guys, right?”

“I’m a princess, Twink. I have a duty to look at people not as good guys or as bad guys. These are basically kids playing government who need help.”

“We can give them a helping of something!” Twink puts up his hands like a boxer.

“No, Twink. These people need our—”

“HEEEEEELP!” A voice cries out, as a team of Shy Guys carry a hogtied Luigi towards the tent.

General Guy calls outside. “Princess! The first thing we need is the Green Mario! We have taken him!”

The Shy Guys drop Luigi outside and leave again, presumably to steal more things. Peach, Luigi, and Twink look back and forth at each other. Peach slowly reaches into the pockets of her dress and pulls out the Sneaky Parasol.

~⭐~

Amidst craggy brimstone peaks, Luigi’s head pokes out from behind a rock to look at a castle surrounded by lava. Twink floats out just behind.

“Are you sure about this?”

A second Luigi pokes out from the other side of the rock. “Twink is right, are you a-sure about this Princess?”

The first Luigi nods, and in Peach’s voice says, “We need to make sure Bowser has learned his lesson.”

“I think my bro has tried to teach that lesson before, it never really sticks.”

The Peach-Luigi ignores him and steps out from behind the rock and towards the bridge to Bowser’s Castle. Luigi and Twink follow nervously behind. As they get close, they can see two Clubba guards standing at the edge of the bridge, and just as easily the Clubbas can see them.

“Halt! Who goes there?!” A guard shouts out.

“And why are there two of you?!” The other shouts, firm but also confused.

Peach continues striding confidently up to them. “We are here to see King Bowser.”

“You’ll only see His Vileness if he sees fit to visit you in the dungeon!” The Clubbas charge at Twink and the Luigis. The real Luigi panics and turns to run, but the Peach-Luigi dashes straight at the lava river. Before anyone has time to stop her, she pulls out her parasol and leaps over the lava, riding an updraft from the heat to the other side. Twink follows after her, leaving the cowering Luigi outnumbered by the guards as they continue into the castle.

As Peach and Twink enter, one seemingly bored Koopatrol is sitting by the entrance.

“Welcome to Bowser’s Castle, home of— Luigi!? What are you doing here!?” The Koopatrol quickly gets to his feet and runs at them, but in his haste Twink is able to fly down to the ground and trip him. Peach gets behind him and swings the Sneaky Parasol at him from the back, turning into an exact replica. The Koopatrol gets back up, ready to fight, and is confused to see another Koopatrol.

“Good work, officer.” Peach bluffs. “You scared him away, he ran right back out that door.”

“R-right! Good!” The Koopatrol nods emphatically, eager to accept that he did a good job.

“I will have to tell King Bowser of your good work stopping Luigi, where is he right now?”

“I think His Nastiness went back to his room for the night!” The Koopatrol salutes. “My name is Kurtis, if you speak to him! What, what is your name? I don’t think I’ve seen you before, are you one of the new recruits?”

“Oh, I’m... Kooper.” Peach says the first name that comes to her mind.

“A fine name! That does sound familiar now, yes!” Kurtis nods and sits back down, almost immediately starting to doze off again. Peach salutes and continues further into the castle.

As they pass more and more members of the Koopa Troop wandering the castle, Twink floats near Peach’s ear. “How are we going to find Bowser’s bedroom? We can’t ASK, everyone who’s supposed to be here probably already knows.”

Peach thinks for a moment, and the smell of food cooking draws her attention. “I have a plan,” she says quietly, leading Twink into the kitchen. The kitchen is full of Koopas scurrying around, working on various dishes. They salute as Peach enters.

“Hello sir! What brings you to the kitchen, sir?” One of the chefs speaks up, clearly nervous.

“Do you have the food to deliver to His Terribleness?” Peach asks calmly.

The chefs look at each other. “What, what food?”

“Is it not done yet?” Peach maintains her tone.

“Uh! Uh! Of course it’s done!” The chef quickly throws some of the food together on a tray and puts a lid on it to hand to Peach.

“You didn’t know about this until now, did you?” Peach crosses her arms. “I’m not taking this to him, you are. You lead the way, that way if this isn’t what he asked for and he is angry, he’s angry at you.”

“Of, of course!” The chef looks like he might cry. “I know he’ll love this! It’s his favorite!” The chef quickly scurries out the door. Peach follows, giving a stealthy thumbs up to Twink.

~⭐~

The chef throws open Bowser’s door and sets the tray quickly down on a table. “I’m so sorry Your Maliciousness, here is the meal you requested!” The chef looks around as Peach and Twink enter behind him, Bowser nowhere to be found. They then start to hear some deep voiced singing coming from behind a closed door in the bedroom. The chef goes over to knock. “Your Awfulness?”

The singing quickly stops, and the door is smashed open into the chef, a burst of steam coming out of what is now revealed to be the bathroom. Bowser storms out wearing a monogrammed bathrobe. “What is the meaning of this!?” Bowser looks at what he believes to be a Koopatrol. “Why has my bath been interrupted!?”

“Well, King Bowser, there are some things that we have to deal with from your recent invasion.”

“My— I decide if there’s something to deal with, not you!” Bowser stomps his foot angrily. “What authority do you have?”

Peach reverts to her true appearance as Bowser’s eyes widen. “Under the authority of the monarchy of the Mushroom Kingdom,” Peach pulls out a large binder, “We’re going to need to sign some agreements.”


End file.
